Nothing New Today - unpublished article in unexisting honest newspaper
There is nothing we could write about today that we did not write about yesterday. We could go on and on about it and still, it will not bring you closer to the real facts. But yes, we could guide you in forming an opinion. It's our job, that is what we are trained for. Besides, we have our own interpretation of things, and then we are owned by someone and they are owned by someone we can't tell, so you can imagine there is some manipulation and censorship going on. We could place some commercials about some new products you could buy, but knowing you actually don't need them, we decided to stop those marketers hunting your desires today. Some banks claim to give you more financial advantages today than yesterday but knowing it will change tomorrow again, we decided to skip you that part of the number. We could show you some intriguing pictures about a war in a faraway country, or charts about aggression in the city going up or down, but we decided not to manipulate your opinion with images and charts today. If you have a good look around you, there is more information out there than we could write in hundreds of pages.
Just look around.
We could have chosen for a more attractive design of this page, but that would be pure marketing and it's not our aim today. If you anyhow have a question for which you were eagerly waiting for today's news, feel free to send it to us. We will do our best to find the answer for you. Remember though, we might just tell you anything and you will believe it, as long as we know how to bring it. And that is what we are pretty good at. Click here to send your urgent question (this link may not work today).
The Sage: You need to be an authority to be listened to.
Mira: Do you mean nobody listens to strangers around here?